manynovel Chapter 262 Love and Being Loved
Chapter 262 Love and Being Loved
Above the boundless ocean, although the three birds are flying together, they still look so lonely.
Just like Naruto and I, even though we were sitting so close, I felt that his heart was shrouded in thick fog and I couldn't see clearly.
There is a world between us, and even the most familiar and closest people seem to be separated by a thick barrier.
How strange... Isn't Naruto's ninja way "speak frankly"? Why do I choose to speak frankly with him, but we still can't seem to communicate with each other?
Naruto asked, "Have you ever thought about marrying him?"
"Huh?" I was stunned. "Why do you suddenly want to get married?"
"From my memory, you discussed with Kakashi-sensei and said you wanted to stay with him as a lover. In that case, shouldn't you get married in the end?"
"That was when I was a kid." I laughed and said, "I didn't know much back then."
"So you don't want to stay with him now? Or is it because you became a traitor? Wouldn't Naruto risk his life to bring you back?"
"Well... that's not the reason."
"What's the reason for that?"
"That spring water just now, can you see other people's memories, right?"
"Yeah. I saw some things about you when you were a kid. With 'me', with Shikamaru, with Neji, but mostly, with 'me'."
I wasn't surprised: "When we were kids, I did spend the most time with Naruto."
"why?"
"what?"
"Why are you so different about...that Naruto? Because he...I'm...like the only family you remember?"
no.
The so-called family is nothing but a lie.
I don't want to use that reason to deceive Naruto anymore.
But the real reason...
I took off my cloak and put it over Naruto and me. This way, in this vast outside world, we had a secret little space that could isolate us from other people's gazes.
He turned his head in surprise, and I leaned close to his ear and whispered, "Naruto, I'm going to tell you a secret, only to you, okay?"
He looked at me with his blue eyes: "What's the secret?"
"It's hard to say now, but if we go back the way we came, and we go to the spring together, just the two of us, I'll show you the memories you want to see. At the same time, I also want to see your memories, okay?"
"Just the two of us?"
"Yeah! Just the two of us."
Naruto's emotions were visibly rising, "Okay!"
"besides--"
"what?"
"How are you doing now? After defeating Sasuke, and surviving so many dangerous battles and becoming so powerful, are you doing well?"
Naruto was silent for a moment, then asked, "What about Naruto in Chaolu's world? How is he doing? He must be very happy to have a friend like you, right?"
What he said reminded me of the many things I had done to hurt Naruto, and I had concealed many things and deceived him until now...
I lowered my eyes with some guilt: "I'm not that good."
"Why? I think you're great!" Naruto said loudly, "I wish I had met you when we were kids!"
He didn't know what I had done, so I just laughed it off and didn't take it seriously.
"Naruto, doesn't he have a lot of friends now?" I laughed. "When he first met me, Naruto was so skilled in getting my autograph. There must be a lot of people who admire you and like you, so you're used to being pursued, right?"
Before he knew it, Naruto's bird was further away from the others.
Even if I took off the cloak covering our heads, it seemed as if we were alone on the vast ocean.
I put my cloak back on and heard Naruto say, "Logically speaking... being recognized by everyone should be something I should be happy about. But I don't know why... I'm not as happy as I thought I would be."
"why?"
"Because there are so many people I don't know at all, but they seem to be very familiar with me. They cheer for me, give me gifts, keep getting close to me, and many people want to be my friend and want to get to know me... At first I feel very surprised and overwhelmed, but gradually I start to think... Who are they? What do they know about me? They haven't even seen me or talked to me, but they act like they like me so much... What exactly is their liking? What exactly does their liking for me mean? I think what they see is not the real me, but their own illusion."
"Naruto……"
I sensed his loss and couldn't help but put my hands behind his back, hoping to express my support and comfort.
"I feel that no one sees the real me and likes the real me. But then I wonder if I am too greedy and want too much. Isn't life much better now than when I was a child? Why can't I be satisfied?"
I gently stroked his back: "Fame can sometimes be a burden..."
"But just now, when I looked at your memories and your feelings towards me...and towards your other self, I figured out one thing!"
"what?"
"I think, maybe I don't need so many people's approval. As long as I find someone like you... as long as there is a 'special person' who can see me and be by my side, maybe I can find true happiness. Just like my dad... he is very happy with my mom."
"Eh……?"
"In other words, all we have to do is get married!"
"Huh? No, wait, Naruto, I don't think marriage will bring happiness!"
Naruto was talking excitedly, but when I interrupted him, he asked in confusion, "Why?"
"Because if two happy people decide to be together, they will be happy whether they get married or not! But can an unhappy person become happy by getting married? That's impossible. 'Marriage' itself has no magic. If he doesn't have the ability to make himself happy, how can he make his partner happy?"
"But!" Naruto said anxiously, "Don't books, movies, and TV shows all say that after a man gets married and has a family, he will feel different and have the urge to work hard and so on—"
"In the future, Naruto will meet someone who truly loves him and he also loves her. Then, getting married and fighting for the one he loves may be as beautiful as described in the story. But if Naruto thinks that choosing to marry someone who loves him is enough to be happy, I can't ignore this kind of thing that puts the cart before the horse!"
"..."
"In this case, isn't the other person more like a tool than a lover? Although the other person may feel that this is okay, because they love Naruto and just want to be by Naruto's side, but is this really happiness? Isn't the other person very pitiful? Naruto, you are also pitiful!"
"Why would you say such a thing...?" Naruto whispered, "You are obviously an orphan like me, and you are shunned by everyone. I thought you valued 'Naruto' so much... I thought you would understand me."
"I understand. I understand the desire to be recognized and affirmed in order to feel the value of one's existence. I also understand the pain of feeling that you are worthless, that you have been disappointing others, and that you don't deserve to be loved. It's just that I have broken free and realized that this state is not good... But Naruto, you still seem to be struggling until now."
I gently stroked his back and comforted him: "Before, you thought that you could be happy if you got the approval of many people, but now you think that you can be happy if you get the approval of only one person... Your demand for happiness is to seek outside. Is it really good to let others decide whether you can be happy?"
"Of course it's easy to just say it!"
Just talking?
indeed.
"My Naruto is the same as you. Although I have talked to him before, you are right. How can a stubborn illness that has lasted for more than ten years be changed by just a few words? I want to do something for him... Is there anything I can do for you?"
If I can help 19-year-old Naruto, maybe I'll have the experience to help 16-year-old Naruto when I go back.
But Naruto remained silent.
Yes, if Naruto knows how to change, does he still need my help? I have to help him think of a solution...
Think about it... Think about it! What should we do?
I remember reading a book saying: A person's happiness is only related to oneself, and does not need to be sought from others. Learning to love openly and believing that you have the right to be loved is also a step to face yourself and cherish yourself.
Loving yourself is the beginning of happiness.
The problems caused by lack of love can only be cured in love.
It is actually not easy to have the ability to love, to want to love, to be able to accept love, and to respond correctly.
So, so – what’s the conclusion?
I poked Naruto's waist, "Naruto! Do you want to practice 'Love and Be Loved' with me?"
Luckily, I’ve practiced dating with Shino before, so maybe it’ll come in handy now!