manynovel Page 17
Page 17
The interaction between the male and female leads has stalled here again.
After a simulation, he felt he hadn't made any progress in his romantic life.
He saw Shoko as the girl next door he had watched grow up; he wanted to take care of her and love her, but he didn't feel any romantic feelings for her.
I don't have that urge to be in a relationship.
If you applied this feeling to the book by the author himself, he'd probably be torn to shreds by readers...
Thinking about it carefully, it seems that since I transmigrated, I have never had the idea of wanting to be in a relationship.
No, even earlier.
It started in my previous life, before I transmigrated.
He would never forget the days in his past life as a struggling online novelist, living in a cheap rented room and eating instant noodles.
They say money gives men courage.
When he's strapped for cash, let alone spending a fortune on dating, he'll make excuses to turn down even invitations from his friends.
His brother always pays for the meals, and he feels too embarrassed to do so. He would like to treat his brother to a meal once, but he doesn't have the money.
When his high school classmate got married, he couldn't even afford to give a monetary gift, so he could only pretend he hadn't seen the news. As time went on, even the friends he used to chat with stopped contacting him.
After transmigrating, he vowed never to experience that feeling again in his life. He really didn't want to experience that feeling of being completely listless and living each day in a daze.
Therefore, making money is his top priority.
Unfortunately, he wasn't born into a good family when he transmigrated. His parents died early, leaving him an orphan. He barely made it to high school by doing odd jobs and scholarships.
I saved up and bought a second-hand laptop, which started my journey into writing light novels.
Only he himself knows the hardships he endured.
Perhaps it was because of this experience that he developed a fear of love. He was afraid of encountering a bad person who would swindle him out of all his money and leave him penniless again.
After being admitted to Toyosaki, he also thought that he had watched Saekano: How to Raise a Boring Girlfriend in his previous life and knew the personalities of the main characters. So, would it be okay to date them?
The answer is no.
He was afraid—what if? Did the author truly understand the characters he created?
If time travel has already happened, then it's not incomprehensible that the personalities of the characters in the original anime would undergo drastic changes, right? For example, Kasumigaoka becoming a gold digger, or Eriri becoming a vicious yandere.
Maybe it's paranoia, but some things, once they happen, can lead to utter ruin.
Therefore, he would rather do nothing than make a mistake.
Volume 1: Chapter 22: The money didn't disappear; it stayed with us in another form, and so did Yuuto.
The hustle and bustle of the fireworks display seemed like an echo from another world, gradually fading from Nishimiya Shoko's ears.
The lanterns of the summer festival stretched her lonely figure.
She was carrying a transparent plastic bag with several small goldfish swimming aimlessly inside.
The water in the bag was a bit cold, seeping through the thin plastic bag to her fingertips, making her feel cold all over.
She walked home mechanically, head down.
She didn't want to hear the laughter and chatter of passersby, nor did she want to see the sweet embraces between couples.
"Squeak-"
Pushing open the door, she saw her mother sitting in the living room, seemingly waiting for her.
Hearing the door open, Yaeko immediately stood up. When she saw her daughter's distraught appearance, the worry on her face turned into deep heartache.
She walked quickly to the front of Xiao Erling Er Ying (3) Lingbaerzi, saw the goldfish her daughter was holding, and looked at her empty eyes. Her heart sank.
"What happened, Shoko?" Yaeko asked with concern, using sign language fluently.
Shoko stared blankly at her mother. She didn't respond to her mother in sign language, but said in her stuttering accent, "Yu-Yu-Dou-kun... I, never again... I... Waaaaah!"
She could no longer hold on; her body went limp, and she let out a long-suppressed cry.
Her voice was hoarse and strained from her long-term muteness, but she spoke the three words "Yuto-kun" without the slightest hesitation.
This is the pronunciation she practices every night while lying in bed, facing the ceiling.
Dozens of times, hundreds of times, thousands of times.
She wanted to say those words to him tonight, at the most beautiful moment of the fireworks—"Yuto-kun, I like you."
She wanted to convey her feelings and emotions to him.
But he's gone.
Seeing her daughter break down in tears, Yaeko could no longer hold back and hugged her tightly.
“It’s alright, Shoko, it’s alright… Mom is here…” She kept stroking her daughter’s back.
After an unknown amount of time, Shoko's crying gradually subsided, leaving only intermittent sobs.
She left her mother's embrace, then silently picked up the notebook and pen from the ground, and wrote in them:
[Mom, did you already know about Yuto-kun?]
Yaeko stared at the words, her body stiffening slightly. She remained silent for a moment, her expression filled with guilt, before finally nodding.
Yes, she knew.
She knew that Yuto had died trying to save Shoko.
I also know that Kotori and her husband moved away from this sad place.
In the period following Yuto's accident, Shoko's mental state was extremely unstable.
The immense blow and psychological trauma caused Shoko to activate her brain's self-protection mechanism, selectively forgetting the most painful memory of Yuto's "disappearance".
The doctor said that forcibly activating this memory could lead to a complete mental breakdown in her.
Therefore, Yaeko chose to keep it a secret.
Looking at her daughter's lifeless eyes, Yaeko sighed and hugged her again. The mother and daughter remained in that embrace for a long time without making a sound.
……
……
After that day, a glass fish tank appeared in the Nishimiya family's living room, containing the goldfish that Yuto Itsuka had given to Shoko at the fireworks festival.
The first thing Xiaozi does when she gets home from school every day is to sit in front of the fish tank and check if the fish are alright.
She would ask Yuzuru and her mother to look after her when she wasn't around.
These goldfish became her only connection with him; they were both relics and tokens of love.
The world did not stop turning because of someone's disappearance. The sun still rose as usual, the trams were still on time, and the school bell for the deaf rang as always.
However, for Nishimiya Shoko, all of this was shrouded in a faint gray.
Her life seemed to be back on track.
Going to school, leaving school, taking notes, and communicating with classmates using sign language.
She no longer tries to please everyone.
Her eyes held less timidity and more composure.
On Tuesday, she went to Shuimen Bridge to feed the carp, as usual.
Shoko tore the bread into small pieces and scattered them into the river little by little. Golden carp surged and scrambled for the food beneath the surface.
She watched quietly, her thoughts drifting away.
However, a familiar yet unfamiliar figure appeared once again on the other side of the bridge.
It was Ishida Masaya.
He looked more haggard than the last time we met, with sunken eyes, messy hair, and an aura of gloom.
He was clutching a notebook tightly in his hand.
Ever since being kicked away by Itsuka Yuto and having his "atonement" completely refuted by his words, Ishida Shoya's mental state has been on the verge of collapse.
He spent a long time in a daze before finally mustering the courage to come back here again.
He saw Nishimiya Shoko's figure.
He walked a few steps away from the glass and stopped.
Shoko noticed him too. She turned around and looked at him calmly.
Ishida Shoya's heart clenched. He took a deep breath and bent over at a ninety-degree angle.
"I...I'm sorry!" he shouted with all his might.
Then, as if afraid that Shoko wouldn't hear him, he hurriedly flipped open the notebook in his hand, on which were written apologies in bold fonts, which he had prepared countless times.
He remained bowed, motionless, awaiting judgment.
Shoko simply watched him silently, neither walking away nor offering any response.
"Stop apologizing, Shoko, you did nothing wrong."
— "Stand tall and live well."
Yes, she did nothing wrong. She is not the one in the wrong, and she does not need to be forgiven.
After a long while, Shoko finally made a move. She withdrew her gaze and did not look at Ishida Shoya again.
She turned around and threw the remaining half-bag of bread into the river.
Then, she slung her backpack over her shoulder, took a step, and walked straight past Ishida Shoya.
He didn't say a word from beginning to end, completely ignoring the other person.
Being forgiven may be a relief.
Being hated at least proves that you are still remembered by the other party.
This complete disregard is the most profound form of torture inflicted on a sinner.
Ishida Shoya stood frozen in place, listening to the receding footsteps, and slowly raised his head.
All he saw was the girl's back, showing no sign of lingering.
At that moment, he finally understood.
His atonement and his apology meant nothing to her anymore.
The girl whom Yuto Itsuka protected with his life no longer needs anyone's forgiveness to be redeemed.
She has saved herself.
"Wow--"
Ishida Shoya could no longer hold on and collapsed to his knees, letting out a desperate wail like a child.
The cries echoed across the empty bridge, carried away by the wind, and went unnoticed.
……
As the seasons change, the chill of winter quietly descends.
Nishimiya Shoko's life was peaceful as still water; however, this peaceful life was always disrupted by some unexpected accidents.
That day after school, as soon as Shoko stepped out of the school gate, she was stopped by a man named Yi Ling (7) 罢罒祁私无锍群·聊人.
Ueno Hirohime.
Shoko remembered her. She was wearing a different school uniform, looked terrible, and even light makeup couldn't hide her haggardness. She stared at Shoko with complicated eyes, as if she had been waiting for her there on purpose.
Shoko was somewhat surprised, but she did not back down. She simply looked at her quietly, waiting for her to speak.
Students from the same school passed by and cast curious glances their way.
"I have something to ask you." Naoka Ueno's voice was a little hoarse, with an aggressive tone.
Shoko nodded and pointed to a small park not far away.
The two walked one after the other without saying a word.
The park was deserted, with fallen leaves covering the ground, rustling underfoot.